I am a failed classical musician, and I lay heavy blame on my parents. As a child, whenever I was in a room with a piano (practically every week at my cousins' house), I would sit and tap out little pieces and compositions. My folks never got a clue. Later, at 13, when I expressed interest in the guitar, they bought me a K-Mart special with string action so high it was unplayable. That killed three more years, after which I finally took it into my own hands to get a decent instrument and some instruction—ad hoc via my cousin, not actual lessons.
But 16 is simply too late a beginning for someone with performance ambitions in the world of classical music, as would become painfully clear to me when I studied classical guitar in college.
One unhealthy way this baggage has manifested itself is that I was overzealous in redressing it in J's case, such that we probably started his piano lessons too early (at 4.8). We should have waited until he was 6 or 7. But the biggest problem is that I have a very hard time being patient during practice. This sets up a nasty feedback loop: I get impatient, J feels bad and wants to stop playing, which makes me more impatient, etc. I really don't feel I have this problem in any other area—just with music. And self-awareness doesn't seem to help much, at least when it's just J and me at the piano.
This is where the puppets come in.
I have always used them in encouraging J's interest in music, for example by providing another enthusiastic audience:
But a couple of weeks ago, when the piano experience became so negative that we were talking about stopping the lessons, I realized that the puppets could do much more to help. They could conduct the practice sessions with J all on their own. Here, my wife was the pioneer. One day when I wasn't around, she had one of J's favorite stuffed kitties lead a practice, and it went great. She says she was just employing my methods, but for some reason this had just not occurred to me.
So I've turned it all over to the puppets now. They suggest the practice session, they prep the pieces, they offer corrections and comments, and they sing along. Everything is more relaxed, a little slower, and, of course, there is lots of silliness. But there is also progress. J listens to the puppets far better than to me, and the puppet personalities are so established that I am able to be more patient when I am in character than when I am just myself. Friedel, for example, is the essence of porcine chill; it is unthinkable and unfeelable to get impatient with J while I am doing Friedel.
Or almost unfeelable. And here is the real rub. Now, when I do find myself getting impatient, I simply have the puppets turn to me and slap me down, like this:
"Herr Sager, halten Sie bitte den Schnabel! Sie haben gesagt, Sie wollten sich nicht mehr einmischen. Das haben Sie versprochen! Der Kleine meint, Sie sind zu streng und zu ungeduldig. Er mag es, wenn wir mit ihm üben, mit Ihnen mag er's halt nicht. Wir können's besser machen. Wenn Sie geduldig sein können, dann dürfen Sie ab und zu was sagen, aber bitte nicht zu viel!"
("Herr Sager, please shut your trap! You said you would not interfere. You promised! J said that you are too strict and too impatient. He likes practicing with us, he doesn't like practicing with you. We can do it better! If you can be patient, you can say things sometimes, but please not too much!")
J loves it when the puppets lay into me, and this has restored real enjoyment to the practice sessions. Castigating myself in this way—sometimes with real vehemence—is a tangible psychological release, helping me work through the bugbears and develop more real patience in this area.
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